What is Love? baby, don't hurt me.

I am pretty sure that Love is the greatest thing that mankind has ever invented, next to the keyboard-guitar.
And just like the keyboard guitar, you just don't see enough of it these days.  People wonder how I get so much love.  It could be the looks, the money, the charm, and the machismo.  In fact, I would say it is because of all of these reasons.

The thing I have learned about love is that in order to receive it, you must first dish it out.  So love other people even if you don't think they deserve it.  This is sometimes trickier than it seems.

I am constantly being asked by lesser fortunate people, "Felson, how is it that you seem to be loved by everyone?"  Well, I have thought about this a lot recently.  And as far as I can tell, it is because of several things.

The first thing that I like to keep in mind is that love is POSSESSIVE.  That means, you must buy love.  If you are interested in a lady for example, you must find out who owns her.  This could be her parents, or it could be another man (or I suppose woman....).  Find out what her price is.  If you can afford it, then you should offer cash straight up.  This will allow you to avoid the pitfalls of changing interest rates that are associated with credit cards.

If you cannot afford to buy the special lady straight up, you can try to RENT her.  This is tricky.  I have yet to figure out how to make this work over the long haul, but if you are only interested in love for one night or for three nights tops, this is probably the best method for you in the first place.  How can you rent a woman?  Start out by purchasing her flowers.  Then take her to eat.  Do not worry if she orders a lot...women like to know that you don't think they are fat.  They also like to know that you don't care that all of those mashed potatoes are going straight to their thundering hips.  In fact, you should encourage your lady friend to eat as much as she likes.  This will help her to be less desireable to other potential suitors/rentors, thus INCREASING your likelihood of making long term rental a viable possibility.  IT IS POSSIBLE TO RENT TO OWN...although this usually turns out to be the most expensive method.

Always remember to shop around.  The best women will be the most expensive.  If you are on a budget, go to Wal Mart.  Usually you will find the lesser expensive women shopping for clothes here.  ALWAYS remember to hit on every woman you see.  By increasing your volume in this way, you will also asymptotally increase the amount of successes per failure.  I do not know how this works....all I know is that it works for me.  (I do however have a theory...Women like to see that you might NOT be as interested in them as it originally appeared.  In this way, you increase your desireability just by judiciously monitoring how much attention you give, and who you give it to.  Or something like that.)

Once you get to a certain level, you can audition and even HIRE potential love interestes.  Myself, for example, will usually interview between 3-5 different possible ladyfriends every single day.  It is important to find out if she is house broken, i.e. can clean up after herself and you, cook a decent meal, operate a dishwasher, operate washer and dryer, and so forth.  It is also important to know how she looks in her uniform.  Usually the best candidate(s) will get a call back, and eventually the ones that put out will get a chance at a date.

As long as you remember NOT to be nice, NOT to treat them like equals, and NOT to appear interested, you should not have any problem finding ladies.  It doesn't make sense, but I did not write the rulebook.  I only play by the rules.  Remember that it is a GAME.  If you play games, i.e. video games, card games, etc. then you should know that LOVE is a game and that if you figure out the rules and PRACTICE, you can eventually have some degree of success.

On another note....we have almost reached 100 viewings here at FelsonMitchell2012.  I almost certainly account for half of these viewings, which means that all of you account for a total of almost 50 visits.  This breaks down to about 10 visits per blog entry.  We would certainly like to see those numbers go up.  I won't stop posting, and I will probably only start bugging you more and more unless you take the initiative to frequent the site bidaily.  So for your own sake, come back on by, AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS!