Fuck your couch, nigga.

So I got a call from the Holy Spirit last night.

You might not believe me, so I will get Adam to vouch for me.  He never lies.

Um, thank you Felson...but I do lie sometimes.  Not usually because I want to but because in certain situations it is better to lie and not hurt someone than be honest with them knowing it will be painful.  But this is one of my truthful times, so I will put my good name on the line for you once again, dick.

Felson was contacted by the Holy Spirit last night.  He is going to be joining the seminary in September and taking me with me.  This is a very big step for him, not just because he is so fat, he claims big boned, but because I know how much he likes cheese danishes and danish super models and he will be pledging himself to celibacy.

It isn't that he doesn't want to have kids.  I don't want him to have kids because he would make a shitty father....or dad I should say to avoid confusion....it is just that nobody listens to him..and he is a lot poorer than he would want you to believe.

If he joins the seminary, he will be paid for the rest of his life, if not laid...but lets be honest, his sex life isn't really on point anyhow....and like I said....you don't want little Felson's running around repopulating the world after the rapture.

I am good to go.  I know my soul is forever in tact and when I die I will go to heaven to be with my Daddy.  His name is I am I, and he a good parent and never misleads his children, even if it hurts them.

The holy spirit also told him that Ohio is the promised land and he will be staying here as long as he is employed by the church, and that Chillicothe, Columbus, and Cleveland will all be experiencing renaissances, making Cincinnati by far the worst C city in the state....And Greenfield will also get its pyramid, but it might not be in our lifetime.

So if you or anyone else has any qualms with me....er.....I mean Felson becoming a catholic priest, you need to speak now or forever hold your piece.  Until then, I will hold your Peace.  God bless....

Thank you douche nozzle.  So there you have it folks.  Leave a message or a post on my FB page telling me what you think.  Asa Lama Lakum.  The the Word of God, be with you all.. and also with you....

From Felson's Manservant to You, the (m)Asses.

Good afternoon blogosphere,

This is your Captain speaking....away team, Bridge.   Captain Riker, the helm is yours...set a course for sector 3.1415926, warp 6.96969.  Number one....make it so....

Felson sure has been flapping his whorish little mouth a lot lately.  Saying things like I never work and am on an extended holiday....for those that follow me or care or pay attention to real news and not what you get off the mainstream media....I am working very hard on two novels...one I hope to have done and published before March 28, which is my next court date....the other hopefully will be done by the end of the year.

I have exhausted my job possibilities...I am un-hire-able until my next court date, at which time hopefully a verdict of not guilty for wreckless driving is reached....I was informed by everyone who wished to hire me that they simply could not due to company policy until I was assured of no jail time...cannot miss work or not be productive (read...exploited), so it is up to me to generate my own income until that time...

Which I am fortunate to be able to do...it is just that book sales are down and legal bills are fucking ridiculous....

I am going through emotional purgatory....spiritually not in my zen place...feeling demons clawing at my flesh and pulling me into the depths of Hades....but my soul is in tact and still remains devoted to God and Jesus and writing what I want and not what the industry dictates and not selling out to the corporate machine....I will never go to hell for money....I would rather slave in this shitty vibrational frequency called my life than to reject eternal wholeness with the ONE....

I broke up with my girlfriend...she doesn't care that she is hurting me...she has used me just like the last 3 girlfriends...this time as a drug dealer...using my kindness against me to purchase her opiates to treat the pain that the pill pharms and drug pedaling doctors cannot or chose not to relieve her of....

It has been the hardest 8 months in my life...I moved back from Oregon where I was happy and successful to be with her in Ohio and I have only been on 3 dates (technically speaking)with her....she sees me only when I can give her something....and I never ask for anything in return but for more of her time and compassion...

I have had relations with a female exactly 2 times in the last 3 and a half years and I am getting tired of pornography and personal physical relief...but again my wall goes up...

I am struggling to not go back to drugs...

I need your prayers....

And hopefully this book will be worth my time and pain....

One love.

Another one

Donald Trump is a pawn.  The Rothschilds have been using him all along...

and have been trying to tear our country apart. by the people that want the country to be better, dividing them into Liberals and Conservatives and feeding them lies so as to implement their evil plans for global domination.

This just in!

Guess what, Donald Trump lovers, this just in.

Blogger is secretly in cahoots with Donald Trump and is trying to subvert everything I say.  The media is bad, just like he said.

Red Hill Shit field town

This is my ode to Highland County.

 This is Felson Mitchell.  Adam Honnold is on an extended holiday it seems.  He may not ever be back again.  We would take down his facebook account, but like Wal Mart, it is just too damn convenient to have all of his friends charlie foxtrotting in one location. He is probably going to leave for Oregon in the next month, and say fuck you to Ohio for ever.  Oregon is a much better state than Ohio anyhow.

Hillsboro is everything that is wrong with Ohio.  It is a heroin infested incest-ed dinosaur that sorely needs an outer belt or one of Elon Musks tunnels.

Who the fuck would ever want to live in Hillsboro?  Only about 6000 or so republicans who elected a comedian for a mayor and insist on being the running joke of the first world.

Red hill town.  U2.  Bono may not have been talking about this Charlie Foxtrot of a "city" but the song seems to ring a bell, much like the town's festival. It is a bunch of farmers and good old boys trying to keep the status quo and make money off of anyone they can exploit just like the miners and frackers and all republicans do...

EXPLOIT.

Let me rephrase this.  Donald Trump won the election in large part because this country is white, inbred, racist, retarded, and poor.

That is the way Hillsboro would like to keep it.  Which is why you should never drive through that town at any hour because the traffic is so backed up on 62 that you might actually have to stop and support the local economy.

Well, I am all for supporting the local economy, but not at the expense of advancement.

Which brings me to the other shit stain on the fabric of Highland County, Greenfield.

This is another good ole-boy fuck fest where the judges and lawyers and freemasons are all in bed together and coming on the face of good, honest, hardworking Americans.

Yes, it is a shit hole, don't get me wrong.  But if anyone ever tries to insinuate that drugs aren't being allowed in this town to create a melange of police and jurisdictional black hole-ry, then you get the scarlet letter and you cannot get a job and you cannot do anything because Ohio is doing everything it can to hold you back.

I am not talking about anyone in particular.  I am just wondering why Amish like the place so much.  Smells of shit. Lucka gweel go..

Comet, Lunar Eclipse, Full Moon

Tonight is pretty special.  Let's all pray it isn't too cloudy.  May be the only comet we see tonight is the stuff I put in the toilet bowl to clean all the poo stains away.  It could be the only Eclipse we see is the vehicle.  But it won't be my vehicle, mine is an Equinox, which is special too.  And although it isn't spring just yet, you might get to see a full moon.  You might get to see my bare ass as I pass by in a flash with my hands on the dash.

We should all be so lucky.

Y'all didn't expect me to not run for President in 2016, did you?

Alright bitches, lets get one thing straight. 

Me running has nothing to do with Donald Trump's decision to run for the presidency.  I have nothing against the man personally except I say, why get the the light beer when you can buy the ICE?  I was the prototype mother fucker.  Whatever he can do I can do better.

For instance.  My record of bigotry extends back centuries.  My grand pappy was the son of a plantation magnate.  He had 20 Negroes.  Trump still does business with non Caucasians, so I think I rest my case. 

Furthermore, I have had relations with my daughter. He merely fantasizes about his.  My candidacy has absolutely everything to do with my obligation to the American people to serve as their president.

I know that my campaign will do well if I get the lower class vote.  That means I should have  majority of the electoral votes come 2016 when the Decision is to be made.

I know I control Ohio, because my man servant Adam Honnold will be advocating me.


Get me into office and I will make sure you will keep your fire arms.  I will also make sure the middle class becomes the most desired class.

And if I manage to not file bankruptcy in this campaign, I will have done more than my closest GOP nemesis has, by not being a little bitch.

Fuck you, and good night.