Working Overtime

Hello planet Felson Mitchell, welcome to today's blog special.

I took Adam off the payroll again and he is complaining because he doesn't have enough money.  It drives me crazy.  He has a job, but it is not enough to pay for everything that he has to take care of.  He works like three other jobs.  Can you believe this schmuck?  He works at Wal Mart distribution center in Washington Court House, Ohio.  They actually pay him probably a little more than he is worth.  They are a great employer and his stack building sucks, I can personally verify it.  He has another job at a group home.  The group home owner won't pay him (although he does get rent, cable, and utilities free) until he can actually get some stingy bastards to live with him.  Apparently the common man knows....that living with Adam is unbearable.  He takes care of his own stuff, doesn't bother anyone else, and would probably chew off his own arm it it meant helping his fellow hungry brother eat the left over Thanksgiving feast (not to mention the fact that he just so happens to be an ex-paramedic for Marines and is fully capable of performing any number of holistic or otherwise contemporary formes of medicine), but all of those qualities doesn't outweigh the fact that he really does operate on a first grade level socially.  He has absolutely no common sense.   He works so hard, but he is not smart, not at all, and that my friends is why he is a failure and I will probably never give him a dime once I get this book published of his that I have been editing for the past two and a half years. The lazy jerk can't even afford an actual "editor" to fix all of his crumb bumble mistakes.

So now that I have all this money freed up, I have started a campaign to get more material things that I really don't need and don't appreciate.  It requires shopping online and at the mall every single day and really just helping the economy.  You know, if we all spent 15 cents more per trip at Wal Mart... the Wal Mart customer.... then every single "slave/indentured servant" that works for the ginormous company would be able to collect 25 large a year, and I am not talking hundred, I am talking thousand dollars.

Get out there and spend money America.  Don't you know that consumerism is the grease that keeps the God awful machine a rollin'?

As a severence package, I gave Adam three harsh canings.  He is such a chump, he literally said, "thank you, may I have another."  What a sad sack retard.

-Felson Mitchell, esquire.