Who do you think should be President of the United States of America

Friday, September 17, 2010

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I have some exciting news to tell you.  Before we get to that, I just want to take this moment to say thank you to all of you out there who have been making your voices heard, whether you have anything important to say or not.  You are out there saying things, and words are being spoken, and information transmitted.  Now, if you could just get an audience, you could be like me.  Or, you could take your opinion with you, give it a quarter, and tell someone on the phone who cares what your opinion is you've got a quarter!

I talked to Dr C. Wolfenstein yesterday, and boy did I get the LOW DOWN.

Seems to me like y'all been talking a lot of crap behind Felson's back.  Saying stuff like, "he's not real!" and "he owe's back child support!"  Well let me just get on my cyber soap box and set the stuff straight.

Ok, as far as real is concerned, what is the definition of real anyway?  And besides, who made you king and expert of everything?  Did I die and give you that privelage?  Then shut your jib!

Next, I do not owe any child support!  I have paid up on Jimmy, Shawntel, Raymone, Cici, Jabaar, Sally, Mowneek, and Ichibod.  So please, spare me your hawty tawty snide remarks, and if you want to start some b.s. then why don't you run for political office or something?

Speaking of political office, I want to thank all of you who have nominated me this year.  I know elections are right around the corner, but I am flattered to even be mentioned with the other candidates.  Thank you for thinking that I am qualified enough and have the charm and good looks to be a public servant.  Now all I need to know is, what exactly I am running for.

And I know you aren't supposed to end sentences with prepositions.  And I know I shouldn't be using first or second person when blogging.   Parts of speech and grammar are just concepts that the government invented to keep the common man from understanding what is going on behind the scenes.

Most people who don't take my advice or can't take me seriously claim that it is my enormous wealth that makes my opinion worthless.  I want to examine this logic from several vantage points.  Numero uno: if your life was in the hands of one person, Bill Gates, or Bill the homeless guy that lives next to the cemetery gates; who would you trust?  Numero two: don't you want to take advice from someone who has everything, like me?  I mean, don't you want to know how I do it so you can try to replicate it for yourself?  And number trois:  I know that I haven't worked an honest day in my life and that I am running on trust funds here, but I have had a lot of time to think and observe when I would otherwise be toiling away.  While you were out working for a living, I was deep in thought trying to figure out ways to make you more like me.

So there you have it.

Also, the Doc told me that we are still headed towards total cataclysm.  Just wanted to update you on the score there.  One final note, Love. Huh?  Good gawd.

What is it good for? 

Absolutely......wait, thats war.  All is fair in love and war.  I always think of the two as synonyms.

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