Today is the day where we are overwhelmed with goodies and flowers and kisses from our loved ones thanks to a sinister plan by some dude at Hallmark to ensure himself eon's of fortune and ca-ca-cash!
I want to thank all of my lovers who got me valentine's today. You really shouldn't have. But its ok, I love getting chocolates and flowers and whatnot even if I already have all the love I need in my heart from God. And even though I will be eating all of this candy and accepting all of the sex toys and coupon's for quickies just like I do every year, I want to make sure that I understand what the true meaning of St. Valentine's Day is. That is right. It is in remembrance of Mary's insatiable love for God that we get to celebrate this great national holiday. And please let us not forget if it weren't for Mary forgetting her birth control, that all of us would have to deal with our sins and likely face eternal damnation with Satan and his minions.
Please reach out and tell someone you love them. Even if you don't love them, tell them you love them and pretend really hard like you love them. They will believe you. And if enough people spread enough "I love you's" throughout all of this beautiful world, then I believe we will all be much happier as humans being.
Again, thank you Taneisha, Shaquwandaa, Chantelle, Dragana, Lulu, Rhianna, Taylor, Heidi, and sweet Miss Upton....Thank you for all of your holiday cheer. Now let's spread it around like a filthy Ramirez. Get out and GO!
Felsi Mitchellpoo
Acclaimed self help guru Felson Mitchell dropping some knowledge... New Poll for New Year. Who should be President?
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