Y'all didn't expect me to not run for President in 2016, did you?

Alright bitches, lets get one thing straight. 

Me running has nothing to do with Donald Trump's decision to run for the presidency.  I have nothing against the man personally except I say, why get the the light beer when you can buy the ICE?  I was the prototype mother fucker.  Whatever he can do I can do better.

For instance.  My record of bigotry extends back centuries.  My grand pappy was the son of a plantation magnate.  He had 20 Negroes.  Trump still does business with non Caucasians, so I think I rest my case. 

Furthermore, I have had relations with my daughter. He merely fantasizes about his.  My candidacy has absolutely everything to do with my obligation to the American people to serve as their president.

I know that my campaign will do well if I get the lower class vote.  That means I should have  majority of the electoral votes come 2016 when the Decision is to be made.

I know I control Ohio, because my man servant Adam Honnold will be advocating me.


Get me into office and I will make sure you will keep your fire arms.  I will also make sure the middle class becomes the most desired class.

And if I manage to not file bankruptcy in this campaign, I will have done more than my closest GOP nemesis has, by not being a little bitch.

Fuck you, and good night.