Shout out to Molly M. Those muffins really keep me regular!

So my grandparents went to my blogsite for the first time last night.  Bad call adding them as friends on facebook, btw.  Now they know a little more about Felson than I would care for them to.  Also, Pappy says that I am wasting my time blogging and that I am a talentless hack.  He also said that if I don't get a job soon that I am going to be taken off of the trust fund.  Sheesh, like I don't already have jobs.  First of all, there is this blog.  I spend at least 20 minutes on it every day, and its not like I don't have advertisements.  Also, I volunteer my services as a personal trainer for kids who want to improve their speed and stamina.  I spend about 2 hours a day doing that and the look of agony on those kids faces is worth more than any dollar amount.   I also have my own lawn care business.  I can't help it that my expenses eat up all of my earnings.  Apparently my efforts are only worth sandwiches and enough cash to cover gas and equipment maintanence.

Thank you mammy for sticking up for me to that cruel son of gun you call your husband.

Here is my updated resume for any possible employers who might be needing good help in this troubled economy.

Felson Mitchell, esquire
EDUCATION

Mater Dei High School, Los Angeles, CA (1995-1997)  GPA 0.4  President of Checkers Club. Disenrolled and homeschooled.  Finished with 3.2 GPA.  SAT (1600)  ACT (8)

Harvard Community College, Austin MA (1998-2001) GPA 2.9  President of Gaming Society, Fencing Team water tech, Founder of HCC Ballerz dance crew, President and Founder of Harvard Autism International, a non profit newsletter educating autistic persons on how to act normal (circulation 5 individuals).  PSI CHI- National Honor Society for Psychology.  4 year letterman, Cross Country and Track.

EMPLOYMENT

Mitchell Clips, INC.  Position-Gopher. (1996-1999)  Was in charge of going and getting things.  Performed Responisibilities Admirably.  Recipient of favorite grandson award two years consecutively.  For quality reference call 981-2095.  Only worked during summers and Thursdays, due to Academia.

The Greenfield Times.  Position-delivery administrator. (1997)  Ensured safe arrival of important news documents to 4 city blocks.  Golden Huffy Award recipient.  5.00/hr plus tips.

Bloods Pirus.  Fouding member of Frankfort, Ohio Sect.  Expanded empire to South Salem. (1998-2001)

Felson Mitchell International.  President, founder, workforce manager, laborer. (2002-2006)  Specialized in testing effects of certain compounds on primate neural biochemical channels.  Mostly non-profit.

United States Government.  Top Secret Shit. (2007-2010)  I would tell you, but then both us would probably get killed.

You will notice that the only paying job I had was in 1997.  I have survived off of hustling and trust funds for most of my life.  Now, I would say that I am very qualified to do just about anything.  And I will do just about anything.  I know that some of you are getting some ideas, and like Meatloaf said, I won't do that, but if you give me a shot, you just might be surprised how little dignity I really have.

Also, I make really good toasted cheese sandwhiches.  Give me a JOB!

I should warn you though, if you have females working for you, I might not be the worker for you.  Also, if you have naptimes throughout the day, I get a lot more done, believe it or not.