The Tempest. by William Shakespeare

I want to take this opportunity to give a big shout out to all of my peeps out there in cyberspace.  What is UP?  We have a lot of fantastic stuff for you in this blog entry, so just strap in, grab a cold one, and kick back as we venture into a world of imagination and wonder.

The first thing I would like to do is give up the floor to a Mr. A. Honnold.  I am forcing him to do this.

Ok, yes.  This is Adam Honnold.  I don't really want to do this but Felson is making me as punishment for not eating enough fiber and potassium.  I just want you to know that I think that Felson is a class guy.  He might be a bit misunderstood from time to time, but isn't that really our fault and not his?  Now I know you all think I must be a pretty huge prick.  You might be right.  For all I know I am, I really don't care, but I digress..

Please don't think that I give a crap about what Felson Mitchell has to say.  Some of the things he says I agree with, most of the things, not so much.  Also please don't think that I am going to make a habit of associating my good name with this blogsite, nor will my presence on here be a re-occuring theme.

(Note: I am typing in italics. Felson agreed to never use italics ever again so long as I would do good on my promise and do what I am about to do.)

I secretly wish I was more like Felson.  Ok, there, I did it.  Are you happy now?

That is what I thought.  Now, just so we are clear, the stances I take here at FM2012 are in no way associated with Adam Honnold.  I think the kid is not too bright, and I honestly don't think it is a realistic dream for him to be more like me.  He thinks I am arrogant, narcissistic, and fatuous.  I think he is a pansy boy who is pretty normal in the broadest sense of the word.  He doesn't like liquor.  He doesn't like loose women.  He rarely goes out.  He must read every single article of Discover Magazine and watch every stinking Ohio State game, and I don't think he has the tools or the wherewithal to make any kind of attempt at a conversation with a woman whom he finds attractive.  Like I want to be associated with that guy.  So do not think that he and I are in any way one and the same.  I am a CHARACTER.  He is a boy genius, and I do not mean that.

Now we can move on to other things.  There will be more pictures.  And definitely there will be some youtube videos.  I am also talking to various producers and I think that a mixtape may drop sometime in the next two months.  STAY TUNED!

A lot of people have asked me recently, "do you just sit down and start typing whatever nonsense floats through your brain?"  I answer each and every single time this very response: Nay. What I do here at FM2012 is very orchestrated.  This is not some flight of fancy run of the mill blogsite.  Every single move we make is carefully thought out, deliberated upon, and eventually polished up by a very expensive PR firm so we can maximize our marketability. 

A lot of you also say you want greater control over FM2012, and while I can't say that I really trust your decision-making ability, I would be more than happy to let you, the fan decide what direction we take this bad boy.  That is why we are polling America to find out just what you think is going on here.

Here is my best summation.  My pappy told me that his dog was at the door, begging for attention.  When he didn't get it from pappy, he trotted over to mammy to see if he could get any loving from her, as she was outside and all pulling weeds.  This too proved futile.  Undeterred, he then scampered over to pee on a flower.

This is plan C.

I haven't said much about my time with the Military.  I really must be careful when I talk about the government and the media and the BIG money.  I must also be very careful when I talk of the League.  So excuse me if I have chosen to select my words carefully regarding such matters.  I was part of a growth hormone experiment back in my younger days.  It was during the time home runs were getting smashed all over America.  Records went down.  The baseball fans loved it!  I tell you the growth hormones they gave me made me every bit as beastly as those characters you watched on TV!  Which was great.  Imagine, me a teenager, looking like a flippin' Adonis, just battled autism, looking pretty good and kept my dougie fresh.  I thought I could pull tricks left and right.  I was a cocky sombitch, I was.  It was then, right in my prime that I faced some of my lowest lows.  I started eating way too many cheese danishes, my ass grew to the size of a watermelon, and I was actually moments away from ending my life with Pine Sol.  (for some reason I just love the scent of Pine Sol.  I just want to drink it!  Don't!)

The government had actually picked me from a very early age to participate in this nonsense.  When I was living in the orphanages, men in strange suits took me into a room and gave me a bionic chip.  I thought this was great because they gave me all sorts of trippy drugs to make me forget certain parts of the procedure.  The procedure lasted every single day for three months.  I will get more into this later....

Time is running out folks.   Contrary to some abstract point of view time does exist and it is moving forward, and you don't want to know what is at that nexus at the point of the new Era....you will need to prepare yourselves.  And that is why it is SO VERY IMPORTANT for you to tell your friends.  Tell your family.  Think about me through out the day, so you know that I am with you no matter what.

Did you set any goals today?  I know I did.  And I accomplished all of them save one.  What that is ain't any of your business.  You've been blogged.