A time to reflect, go within, meditate.

I think we all know what is going on here.  Felson Mitchell is a character created by me and doesn't really exist.  I am not sure what you all think out there, but that is okay.  Some things the good lord didn't intend for a man to know.  I will say this...it has been fun sharing my multiple personalities with the world.  I don't think there is anything more real than someone completely melting down and going schizoid in public for everyone to see. 

But in all seriousness Felson is a caricature.  He is extreme in a lot of senses, and ultimately could be described as my personal internal struggles made manifest.  The attributes Felson exhibits are things that make you cringe, but at the same time you are too fascinated to take your eyes away.  He is not worried about taboo, others opinions, physical laws...he is really quite impractical and boorish.  But he is free in a very true sense, and in a lot of ways I kind of admire him.

It is in this very same ignorance that Felson ends up being the butt of the joke in the end.  Because he is not practical or sustainable.  He is a nitwit that has all of the means and absolutely nothing worthwhile to add to society, and unfortunately mirrors many of the people that I have come across on this path, including from time to time myself.  Please, do not think that I do not see the plank in my own eye, I see it.  It hurts.  But at the end of the day, we can only hope that we accept everyone for who they truly are.

This site was always intended to be a beacon of truth.  There are many exaggerated stories, a little SPIN doctoring up things here and there.  But the essence is something good and something innocent.  I really do believe that this is something universal, that timeless innocence is still flickering inside each and everyone of us.  It might be surrounded by thorns and barking wolves, but it shines true, unwaveringly nevertheless.

It was a direct result of my disappearing act novel that this site even exists.  Don't worry, I have the situation under control.  If this is the worst thing that happened as a result of the loss of so many hours of toil and tribulation, then I consider myself to have channeled my frustration successfully.

So here we are, in a rare moment of honesty.  This is not awkward for me.  Is it for you? 

It was very overcast and frigid today, a snapshot of things to come.  But as I was driving home from cross country practice, the sun finally decided to make its presence known.  This is a lot like life.  And in Ohio, there is a simple beauty that I have taken for granted for many years.  Amongst the decaying fields and decomposing logs are levels of organization and beauty that defy adequate description.  The leaves are beginning to change color, and there is nothing more spectacular or dramatic than the splashes of orange and yellow and red that will soon ensconce the countryside.  The hills become the backdrop for nature's fanciful denouement

I imagine I will probably be here for the rest of my life.  It is the place that seems more like home than any other, for better or worse.  Of course, only time will tell where we will go, but the Heartland really is imbedded in my heart.