I want to thank each one of you for wishing me a happy birthday. Its only one year until the world gets swept up by large amounts of cosmic radiation from the expanding sun, so I hope everyone has been stockpiling GOLD and SUNSCREEN. These are the only two things you will need in the coming age of Aquarius.
Me, well, lets just say I have spent my family's entire fortune on building a subterrainian complex to house myself and a few fertile myrtles. I also contracted the Air Force to build me a spaceship, so we should be able to perpetuate the species and scatter our seed throughout the cosmos, just as Thomas Jefferson once boldly predicted.
You? Well, chances are you haven't paid your FM2012 membership dues, so when things get uncomfortable, I beseech you, DO NOT COME TO ME. I do NOT forgive, and I do not forget. You had your chance, and like Samuel L. Jackson said, I hope you burn in hell.
Lastly, visit my ebook before I take it down. This is your last chance to read it for free.
I love you, even though you break my heart, Fredo. Mitchell out.
Acclaimed self help guru Felson Mitchell dropping some knowledge... New Poll for New Year. Who should be President?
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